What just happened?

4/25/2018. One of those impact the timeline of your life days.  I found a lump.  Crazy. Was I imagining it?  Nope. It was for real.  Now begins the surreal existence of doctors and testing and testing and doctors.  Moving from one waiting room to the next both figuratively and in reality.

But - the troops are rallied.  The friends, the neighbors the far off family.  We connect and establish a plan and the prayer cover... oh the prayer cover. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot to.  Memories of songs, moments of support, conversations about constipation... what?!  But if you share the need, the prayers can cover it.

My first reaction, I’m going to go bald.  Wait! Hubby is bald, Twinning is Winning.  There is always always always a plus.  Even in the darkest hardest most fear filled moments, God is with me.  Walking beside me, holding my hand, shielding my heart.

So, this is funny.  As I was compiling my email to my volunteers, I referenced the verse:

He will cover you with His feathers, under His wings you will find refuge: His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  Psalm 91:4.

Some of you may picture an eagle, or maybe even a Pterodactyl...  me... a humongous chicken.  Because God provided the Carter family with ample amounts of humor.  And I am so thankful for that!  And chickens are awesome.

So, I held a fundraiser to shave my hair.  Why?  Because I could.  Because it was my choice. Because i didn’t want to channel the Evil Queen in Snow White when she turned into the hag.  And today my hair started to fall out.  And it’s okay.  It really is. For me, who lived as a perpetual pony tail wearer, it’s not that bad.  Today.  Tomorrow I may cry.  But today I’m dealing and life is good. I am 1/2 way through my first cycle.  This is possible.  I - we, my village, my support, my God... we can do this.  One day at a time, one fallen follicle, one nauseated moment at a time.  I’m so glad it’s cancer stage 1.  Thank you for the little things that make up the big.  And He knows how many hairs are left.  He’s counting too.

Christmas and reflections of 2014

Christmas was a bright blessing this year... it really always has been. My favorite moment was when the kids watched each other open the gifts they picked out for each other.  So sweet when Molly wrapped her arms around Ellie in that big sister hug.  And Ellie was so excited to watch Molly open the gifts she had selected.  Proud Mamma moments for me.  Their giving hearts and eagerness to please one another amidst the constant battles... moments I just seal away in my heart.

It's been a rough year.  I lost my dad this year, and my mom passed 2 years ago... Christmas was different. Certain carols had me in tears, comments from the back seat would just send me into weepy mode... "Mamma, I miss Bampa."  So do I, baby. So do I.  I miss his laugh... his belly laugh. Morgan has that laugh.  I'm so glad.  I miss his humor... that fart machine.  I miss his giving heart.  Always fair to everyone of his kids.  O! I MISS HIM!!  It hurts so much at times. It is bittersweet to remember all the good stuff... it just reminds you that he's gone. But I am so very thankful that I have the hope of a promise.  You see, he prayed for salvation two days before he passed.  He made it.  That beautiful sun-shiney September day... he went HOME.  He sat at Jesus feet, he ran in the fields, he saw his friends and family... His tears were wiped away by God Himself and he was wrapped up in God's embrace.  All his life, I know God called him. I'm so thankful he answered that call.

It's been a hard year but a good year.  I truly look forward to 2015.  More good to come.  More uphill climbs, but all with Jesus so I can trust it will be good.

James 1:17 For every good gift and every perfect gift comes from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with Whom there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

I am so glad that God is constant.  We change our minds and hearts like the wind blows, but He is steady, unchanging.

Telephone

Watching the daddy duck chilling in the grass. Mommy says "he's catching some zzzzzzs". Ellie hears, "he's got baby disease". 

Dancing queens

Thanks to some totally Faboo aunts uncles and cousins Molly and Ellie are finally able to have the dream of dancing fulfilled. They have so much fun at hip hop. Ellie has a great time expressing herself during the freestyle and really has worked at the fundamental moves.    Molly has been able to learn each new routine. She pays such close attn to the teacher and practices at home. But in ballet she is receiving one on one instruction and complete happiness follows:

 Thank you all who pitched in to make this possible!  Love you all! 

School prep

Ellie is not a fan of clothing as she is likely to tell you. So seeing this challenge in advance we are trying to prepare her for school which is a mere two weeks away. In an effort to get her used to and comfortable in her school uniform I encouraged her with a donut. Not Entenmann. Not Publix. Dunkin donuts-the king of donuts. 

Her idea for wearing her dress:

That didn't cut it. Here is our final compromise. After ten minutes sitting and watching Molly and me enjoy our delightful treats, thus is as far as she could go: 

But she did share her "zebra" donut with Kitty. So tender. Love this child. 

Make believe

Ellie's creative play is fierce. She asks to be the "bad girl" and not the police and creates new games like "dead mermaid". Ka-Chop has a run for its money!

They DO listen

Ellie: I'm a mother

Molly:  Ellie, when you're a mother you'll be 31.

Ellie:  ok. I'm 31 and I'm the mother. 

Yes. I sing!!