What just happened?

4/25/2018. One of those impact the timeline of your life days.  I found a lump.  Crazy. Was I imagining it?  Nope. It was for real.  Now begins the surreal existence of doctors and testing and testing and doctors.  Moving from one waiting room to the next both figuratively and in reality.

But - the troops are rallied.  The friends, the neighbors the far off family.  We connect and establish a plan and the prayer cover... oh the prayer cover. My God is so big, so strong and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot to.  Memories of songs, moments of support, conversations about constipation... what?!  But if you share the need, the prayers can cover it.

My first reaction, I’m going to go bald.  Wait! Hubby is bald, Twinning is Winning.  There is always always always a plus.  Even in the darkest hardest most fear filled moments, God is with me.  Walking beside me, holding my hand, shielding my heart.

So, this is funny.  As I was compiling my email to my volunteers, I referenced the verse:

He will cover you with His feathers, under His wings you will find refuge: His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  Psalm 91:4.

Some of you may picture an eagle, or maybe even a Pterodactyl...  me... a humongous chicken.  Because God provided the Carter family with ample amounts of humor.  And I am so thankful for that!  And chickens are awesome.

So, I held a fundraiser to shave my hair.  Why?  Because I could.  Because it was my choice. Because i didn’t want to channel the Evil Queen in Snow White when she turned into the hag.  And today my hair started to fall out.  And it’s okay.  It really is. For me, who lived as a perpetual pony tail wearer, it’s not that bad.  Today.  Tomorrow I may cry.  But today I’m dealing and life is good. I am 1/2 way through my first cycle.  This is possible.  I - we, my village, my support, my God... we can do this.  One day at a time, one fallen follicle, one nauseated moment at a time.  I’m so glad it’s cancer stage 1.  Thank you for the little things that make up the big.  And He knows how many hairs are left.  He’s counting too.

Christmas and reflections of 2014

Christmas was a bright blessing this year... it really always has been. My favorite moment was when the kids watched each other open the gifts they picked out for each other.  So sweet when Molly wrapped her arms around Ellie in that big sister hug.  And Ellie was so excited to watch Molly open the gifts she had selected.  Proud Mamma moments for me.  Their giving hearts and eagerness to please one another amidst the constant battles... moments I just seal away in my heart.

It's been a rough year.  I lost my dad this year, and my mom passed 2 years ago... Christmas was different. Certain carols had me in tears, comments from the back seat would just send me into weepy mode... "Mamma, I miss Bampa."  So do I, baby. So do I.  I miss his laugh... his belly laugh. Morgan has that laugh.  I'm so glad.  I miss his humor... that fart machine.  I miss his giving heart.  Always fair to everyone of his kids.  O! I MISS HIM!!  It hurts so much at times. It is bittersweet to remember all the good stuff... it just reminds you that he's gone. But I am so very thankful that I have the hope of a promise.  You see, he prayed for salvation two days before he passed.  He made it.  That beautiful sun-shiney September day... he went HOME.  He sat at Jesus feet, he ran in the fields, he saw his friends and family... His tears were wiped away by God Himself and he was wrapped up in God's embrace.  All his life, I know God called him. I'm so thankful he answered that call.

It's been a hard year but a good year.  I truly look forward to 2015.  More good to come.  More uphill climbs, but all with Jesus so I can trust it will be good.

James 1:17 For every good gift and every perfect gift comes from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with Whom there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

I am so glad that God is constant.  We change our minds and hearts like the wind blows, but He is steady, unchanging.

Telephone

Watching the daddy duck chilling in the grass. Mommy says "he's catching some zzzzzzs". Ellie hears, "he's got baby disease". 

Dancing queens

Thanks to some totally Faboo aunts uncles and cousins Molly and Ellie are finally able to have the dream of dancing fulfilled. They have so much fun at hip hop. Ellie has a great time expressing herself during the freestyle and really has worked at the fundamental moves.    Molly has been able to learn each new routine. She pays such close attn to the teacher and practices at home. But in ballet she is receiving one on one instruction and complete happiness follows:

 Thank you all who pitched in to make this possible!  Love you all! 

School prep

Ellie is not a fan of clothing as she is likely to tell you. So seeing this challenge in advance we are trying to prepare her for school which is a mere two weeks away. In an effort to get her used to and comfortable in her school uniform I encouraged her with a donut. Not Entenmann. Not Publix. Dunkin donuts-the king of donuts. 

Her idea for wearing her dress:

That didn't cut it. Here is our final compromise. After ten minutes sitting and watching Molly and me enjoy our delightful treats, thus is as far as she could go: 

But she did share her "zebra" donut with Kitty. So tender. Love this child. 

Make believe

Ellie's creative play is fierce. She asks to be the "bad girl" and not the police and creates new games like "dead mermaid". Ka-Chop has a run for its money!

They DO listen

Ellie: I'm a mother

Molly:  Ellie, when you're a mother you'll be 31.

Ellie:  ok. I'm 31 and I'm the mother. 

Yes. I sing!!

Catching UP... kind of anyway

Well, I have been tardy!   The girls are now 5 and 7! Yes, just this week.  I missed a whole year of blogging moments!! So, let me rack my brain as far back as it will go and begin with recent Ellie-isms which include the following:

In response to my question about why she was saying hateful things lately, "Well, Mama. they pop in my head and they puke out my mouth".  Can't argue with that, it's happened to me!  So, we decided to pray for self-control.

After initiating a new rewards based chore system, she finally came up with a contribution of a chore for herself.  "Mama, I didn't make a poopers yesterday or the day before that.  That's what you can reward me for.  Making a pooper!".

Ellie has a wonderful love of music. (Much like her grandpa!). Like the song says, she learned to dance before walking and sing before talking. It's just in her. So I knew the CD Boombox would be a great hit. What I hadn't considered was the past year under the influence of two incredibly wonderful Spanish speaking ladies as preK4 Teachers.  So I was a bit surprised to walk into her room to find her jamming to the spanish station on the radio!

Molly has her sweetness coming through the written word these days.  First Grade has brought with it a wonderful new way of expressing herself. I am seeing glimpses of myself in her so much.  She writes some days about how she loves me, her dad, her sister... and on others, she writes me a note, slips it under the door and runs off.  Those generally discuss her frustration with me... at least we're communicating! Praying that always continues, no matter the vessel used.  Her passion and sensitivity are unique to her.  She is a nurturing teacher type and loves to help those around her, any age.  I love that compassion about her.

Ellie had Kindergarten round up recently where she had the exciting opportunity to meet some teachers, see the classrooms and learn about some of the things she'll be doing.  Her response to the Kindergarten Teacher's three questions based on the excitement she must be feeling to be entering kindergarten were all met with her Stone Cold Face.  No emotion, just held the stare of her teacher.  what a handful.

Molly had a less wonderful year this year.  While First Grade improved writing and introduced more advanced math skills, it was through a rather cranky teacher who yelled frequently at the class. she was brought to exasperation when it happened one day that the teacher actually yelled at her!  She had come to terms with the class being yelled at, but was appalled that she would be singled out.  Maybe mortified is a better word.  this teacher brought my daughter to tears on more than one occasion. We are all glad to be going into 2nd grade.

Well, we have family here for a visit today so I'll do more catching up later.  I'm gonna figure out how to blog from my phone... love that thing!

Love you all!

Uncle Morgan Questions 2013 Update

1. Why do birds get to fly?
     Molly: Because they love flying and that helps them hunt for food
Molly 2013:
     Ellie: If they don't then they're not birds
Ellie 2013:  Because the like flies
2. What makes a rainbow?
     Molly: Sunlight and rain
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Because God made them that way

Ellie 2013: Rain
3. What were the 1980s like?
     Molly: They were old
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: It was great

Ellie 2013: nice
4. Why do Grandpas wear socks up to their knees?
     Molly: Because they like it that way and it is comfortable (comshterbull in our pronunciation) :)
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Because they like it that way

Ellie 2013: Because they're old
5. Why do some people have brown eyes?
     Molly: Cause God made them that way
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Because they are great and God made them that way

Ellie 2013: Because thats their color that God made them.
6. If you were born in India what would be different?
     Molly: I would talk "India" and I wouldn't be with you (me, mommy).
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Because God made them that way

Ellie 2013: {Shrugging Shoulders}  I don't know
7. Why do balloons make such a loud noise when they pop?
     Molly: They're full of air and the air "bursteses".
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Because they are balloons and they pop and God made them that way.

Ellie 2013: It's because that, it pops like a boom boom boom cause God made em like that. They just pop by making a boom sound
8. How does a car work?
     Molly: By engines
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: We drive it

Ellie 2013: With pushing the wheel and driving it.
9. How old is the oldest tree?
     Molly: 27 0r 37 (ouch) or 101
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Really very, very old

Ellie 2013: So old
10.Why do clouds look so fluffy?
     Molly: Cause they're like cotton candy
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: Because God made them that way

Ellie 2013: Because they're clouds and they have meatloaf.
11. Whose face do you think should be on Money and why?
     Molly: It's supposed to be our presidents
Molly 2013:

     Ellie: A person

Ellie 2013: I don't know
12. Why do doggies have tails
     Molly: Because God made them that way
Molly 2013
    Ellie: Because God made them that way.
Ellie 2013: Cause if they don't have tails, they'll look like humans sitting.

"Ellie, what do you like best about the beach?"
"Being brave"
priceless

Timeless phrases: Yesterdays ago.  Renemberies.  I was curious. Oh, right. I forgot.  I didn't know that, mamma, I just didn't know. 

when asked if how old she going to be on her birthday, Ellie holds up four fingers.  then proudly proclaims to Aunt Kerry, "and then I'll be five and a half!"  Love it... Kids are excited about aging.  Of course, when Molly said I was 60 and daddy was 50, that didn't help my ego at ALL!!

Here is a Brian funny--He was walking through the sawgrass mall this week with molly on one side and ellie on the other. a very... we'll go with friendly, Latina woman asked him with rolled r's and a sultry smile, "Wherrrre arre you frrom?".  Brian doesn't miss a beat, "America".  HA!! Love it!!

Ellie hands me two pencils and says "Mamma, you jam and I'll sing."

Shopping for jewelry and Ellie is posing every 5 minutes with a new bracelet. Exasperated, Molly exclaims in a side whisper to me "Ellie just has no stylish at all".  In all honesty, I believe they both have "stylish" but Molly's may be a little more expressive! :)

I am wiping away the tears from laughing so hard.  Maybe it's just the day I had, but when Molly confided in me today I laughed, I mean belly-laughed, for 5 minutes.  Was it the way she said it all serious like a 60 year old instead of a 6 year old? maybe.  Anyways, she says to me in all the confident wisdom that a 6 year old can muster, "Mommy, Ellie has really been bothering me today. I've had to yell at her.  All I need is some peace. Peace!" I lost it... so funny.  Wonder if Daddy would agree with her on that topic?!  I know I do!!!

Romance. Molly brings new life to "romantic heart".  She has loved the prince and princess "romantic kiss" since she was old enough to know what it was.  Being that she is not even six yet, I would definitely say she's a natural for romance.  When she and Ellie were watching beauty and the beast at the part where they are going to "romantic kiss" Ellie says how she never will kiss a boy, yuck!  (I say Yay!) and Molly very incredulous exclaims, "You are going to have to romantic kiss a boy some day!" I feel as though I may have trouble with this one some day.  :)

Big Sister, Little Sister.  Ellie and a friend were getting ready to take a nap.  With very tired comes very emotional and Ellie was calling for her big sister. Molly is 5 1/2 (almost 6) so she doesn't have to take naps any more.  So, Ellie is in the bed, calling out for her sister.  Molly, the little mamma, leaves what she is working on, "I've got this, Mom" and goes to take care of "the girls". She sings to them and snuggles with them and holds them close.  Sissy falls asleep and Molly has the sense of accomplishment.  I love sisters.

So... I will undoubtedly end up sounding lame in this blog. I already feel cheesy, but the reward of keeping my family connected to my kids outweighs all that. So, this is to capture the moments, remember the cuteness and share the love!

Birthdays are coming soon... when I talked to Molly about an idea I had for her SMALL party, she was outraged at only having 3 come to celebrate with her!  "that's not fair! 3 is not enough!".